…is experience.
I can show you every negotiation tool known to mankind and analyze script after script — but the only thing that’s going to help you get what you want, is actually doing it.
This is the same as parenting or having a relationship partner (I’m not being more specific than that since my mom reads this blog.)
It’s comforting to sit back and read my negotiation scripts. It’s fun to watch me do role-play negotiations on camera. You feel like you’re learning.
But until you test it in the real world, it’s pointless. As Mike Tyson said, “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”
In fact, there’s something different about the small number of people I help with negotiation coaching — people who average $10,000 when they negotiate for a new job, and over $5,000 when negotiating for a raise.
The difference is that they take what I teach them…and apply it.
That’s why my challenge this week was so simple: Just try negotiating. Do it over the phone. Do it in person at your farmers’ market. Learn to practice it as something you do in your life — a mindset – not just something you do once a year at your performance review.
Script it out, define what you’re looking to achieve, and give it a shot. You will fail — but you know to use Failure Expectation to expect and plan for it.
Like the winner this week, Alex, who negotiated 2 days/week of working from home so he can spend more time with his wife and 1-year-old daughter. I included my notes, too.
Alex’s winning negotiation script to work from home 2 days per week:
WEEK 3 RESULTS
“The short story – today I negotiated a work-from-home arrangement for 2 days per week from my full-time job, with no end date. My commute is 3 hours roundtrip per day, so this saves me 6 hours per week, which I can now spend with my wife and 1yr old daughter. Totally liberating, although it still hasn’t really hit me. Thanks to Ramit for the tips which helped me succeed at this. (and also to Tim Ferriss, I re-read the script in ‘Disappearing Act’ of 4HWW too)
The details –
I work at a large TBTF bank, managing a team of software developers. It’s review season, and I got my annual compensation communication last week, but by phone since I was on vacation. I was disappointed with the compensation (2% increase total from last year, despite ranking pretty well at 4 of 5). My goal: negotiate an increase in my “total compensation”. By the way, I know from research that I make a fair amount more than others in similar jobs, and my job is kinda cool, so I’m not really ready to run out the door.
[RAMIT’S NOTE: Notice the amount of preparation Alex has put into his negotiation and the specificity of his goal. 85% of the work is done before you ever step foot in a room to interview or negotiate.]
Script -
Me: As I mentioned last week, I’m disappointed in my compensation this year, considering I performed well, and the bank did fairly well. [went through percentages last year, this year]. It would be one thing if I underperformed, but what really bothers me is the disconnect between performance and pay.
Boss: [checked my percentages, generally nodded, explained about bank performance and 'the way it works']
Me: This disconnect has really made my start to dislike my job. I felt this way last year, and hoped it would get better, but it hasn’t.
[RAMIT’S NOTE: He’s expressing disappointment, not anger, and leading the conversation where he wants it to go. Predictably, the boss responds with a...]
Boss [look of concern]
Me: HOWEVER, I also understand your predicament. You have a lot of great performers which you’d like to pay well, but you are at the mercy of pre-determined money pools, and a company whose overall performance is out of your control, at the whim of markets and economies.
Boss [profuse nodding, almost smiling]
[RAMIT’S NOTE: What Alex just did was extremely sophisticated. He expressed disappointment, then re-framed the conversation to empathize with the boss’s situation. Notice how deeply he gets in his boss’s head -- he’s literally using the eaxct words his boss would use to describe his corporate shackles. When you are deeply in someone else’s head, you will see them irresistibly respond with nods, words like “EXACTLY,” and so on. And you are being ethical as you are simply describing their own situation, perhaps better than they could even articulate it. Alex is doing a masterful job.]
Me: So I’ve been thinking of ways out of this stalemate which don’t involve me leaving the company.
Boss: Oh well that is good, what are you thinking
[RAMIT’S NOTE: This is the turning point in the conversation: The boss just essentially invited Alex to write his own ticket. But notice that it took weeks of thinking and planning to get to this point.]
Me: I’d like to propose working from home a few days a week on a regular basis. I am much more productive working from home, and the saved commute time would allow me to put in more hours without sacrificing work-life-balance. I could increase my performance, and also be happier with less commute, so it’s win-win. Of course I’d be in the office for meetings requiring my physical presence, and always available on cell.
Boss: Well that sounds ok, you don’t have to sell it to me. But how many days were you thinking?
[RAMIT’S NOTE: “You don’t have to sell it to me.” That’s because he already successfully sold it with his research, top performance, and understanding of the situation. Negotiations don’t have to be a hard sell, which is precisely what Alex is demonstrating. The boss actually WANTS to give Alex his demands!]
Me: 3 days per week
Boss: That sounds like a little much, I’d feel much better about 2 days, which is less than half the time.
Me: Ok I think I can do 2 days.
[RAMIT’S NOTE: Classic door-in-the-face technique.]
Boss: Ok good, let’s talk some more about your compensation numbers
Me: [blah blah not listening, huge grin on INSIDE, I can't believe he went for it]
Tactics I used:
- Reviewed scripts of other similar situations, and picked key words to reuse
- Wrote out a loose script in advance
- Decided increasing pay was a non-starter at this point, so went for something else (tele-commuting)
- Decided 2 days would be great, so asked for 3 so I had something to give back
- Decided NOT to use the phrase “on a trial basis” on my wife’s recommendation, but instead keep it in my pocket. this was a good idea since I didn’t need it.
- Made a soft threat to quit to make the alternative seem less severe
- Showed I understand his side, and played to his desire to have happy employees and compensate them
- Practiced! I found a conference room 1 hour before to write my script and said it a few times out loud
- Timeboxing – I didn’t have a lot of time to work on this – total prep was 2 hours (15 mins at home night before, 45 mins on bus reading 4HWW & this post, 1 hour at office writing script & practicing). This made me focus, especially in that final hour
Results, and why it’s good –
– even though it wasn’t dollars, 6 hours of my life back is worth a lot. also gives lots of flexibility to shift hours around. I increased my total compensation. actually it saves me $30 on commute per week also
- while I worked from home 2-3 times per month previously, a regular arrangement is unheard of, and 2 days/wk is absolutely crazy. Can’t believe I didn’t ask earlier.”
A superb job by Alex. See the [RAMIT’S NOTES] to see behind the obvious and to analyze what’s really going on.
Congratulations, Alex. My assistant will be contacting you to send you either $200 of negotiation books or a 15-minute call with me to strategize your next negotiation.
What you’ll notice is that Alex has internalized a negotiation mindset. It’s not just a series of unrelated tactics for him, but part of a holistic mindset of negotiation as a lifestyle.
To get that mindset, let’s go deeper.
http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/#
I can show you every negotiation tool known to mankind and analyze script after script — but the only thing that’s going to help you get what you want, is actually doing it.
This is the same as parenting or having a relationship partner (I’m not being more specific than that since my mom reads this blog.)
It’s comforting to sit back and read my negotiation scripts. It’s fun to watch me do role-play negotiations on camera. You feel like you’re learning.
But until you test it in the real world, it’s pointless. As Mike Tyson said, “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”
In fact, there’s something different about the small number of people I help with negotiation coaching — people who average $10,000 when they negotiate for a new job, and over $5,000 when negotiating for a raise.
The difference is that they take what I teach them…and apply it.
That’s why my challenge this week was so simple: Just try negotiating. Do it over the phone. Do it in person at your farmers’ market. Learn to practice it as something you do in your life — a mindset – not just something you do once a year at your performance review.
Script it out, define what you’re looking to achieve, and give it a shot. You will fail — but you know to use Failure Expectation to expect and plan for it.
Like the winner this week, Alex, who negotiated 2 days/week of working from home so he can spend more time with his wife and 1-year-old daughter. I included my notes, too.
Alex’s winning negotiation script to work from home 2 days per week:
WEEK 3 RESULTS
“The short story – today I negotiated a work-from-home arrangement for 2 days per week from my full-time job, with no end date. My commute is 3 hours roundtrip per day, so this saves me 6 hours per week, which I can now spend with my wife and 1yr old daughter. Totally liberating, although it still hasn’t really hit me. Thanks to Ramit for the tips which helped me succeed at this. (and also to Tim Ferriss, I re-read the script in ‘Disappearing Act’ of 4HWW too)
The details –
I work at a large TBTF bank, managing a team of software developers. It’s review season, and I got my annual compensation communication last week, but by phone since I was on vacation. I was disappointed with the compensation (2% increase total from last year, despite ranking pretty well at 4 of 5). My goal: negotiate an increase in my “total compensation”. By the way, I know from research that I make a fair amount more than others in similar jobs, and my job is kinda cool, so I’m not really ready to run out the door.
[RAMIT’S NOTE: Notice the amount of preparation Alex has put into his negotiation and the specificity of his goal. 85% of the work is done before you ever step foot in a room to interview or negotiate.]
Script -
Me: As I mentioned last week, I’m disappointed in my compensation this year, considering I performed well, and the bank did fairly well. [went through percentages last year, this year]. It would be one thing if I underperformed, but what really bothers me is the disconnect between performance and pay.
Boss: [checked my percentages, generally nodded, explained about bank performance and 'the way it works']
Me: This disconnect has really made my start to dislike my job. I felt this way last year, and hoped it would get better, but it hasn’t.
[RAMIT’S NOTE: He’s expressing disappointment, not anger, and leading the conversation where he wants it to go. Predictably, the boss responds with a...]
Boss [look of concern]
Me: HOWEVER, I also understand your predicament. You have a lot of great performers which you’d like to pay well, but you are at the mercy of pre-determined money pools, and a company whose overall performance is out of your control, at the whim of markets and economies.
Boss [profuse nodding, almost smiling]
[RAMIT’S NOTE: What Alex just did was extremely sophisticated. He expressed disappointment, then re-framed the conversation to empathize with the boss’s situation. Notice how deeply he gets in his boss’s head -- he’s literally using the eaxct words his boss would use to describe his corporate shackles. When you are deeply in someone else’s head, you will see them irresistibly respond with nods, words like “EXACTLY,” and so on. And you are being ethical as you are simply describing their own situation, perhaps better than they could even articulate it. Alex is doing a masterful job.]
Me: So I’ve been thinking of ways out of this stalemate which don’t involve me leaving the company.
Boss: Oh well that is good, what are you thinking
[RAMIT’S NOTE: This is the turning point in the conversation: The boss just essentially invited Alex to write his own ticket. But notice that it took weeks of thinking and planning to get to this point.]
Me: I’d like to propose working from home a few days a week on a regular basis. I am much more productive working from home, and the saved commute time would allow me to put in more hours without sacrificing work-life-balance. I could increase my performance, and also be happier with less commute, so it’s win-win. Of course I’d be in the office for meetings requiring my physical presence, and always available on cell.
Boss: Well that sounds ok, you don’t have to sell it to me. But how many days were you thinking?
[RAMIT’S NOTE: “You don’t have to sell it to me.” That’s because he already successfully sold it with his research, top performance, and understanding of the situation. Negotiations don’t have to be a hard sell, which is precisely what Alex is demonstrating. The boss actually WANTS to give Alex his demands!]
Me: 3 days per week
Boss: That sounds like a little much, I’d feel much better about 2 days, which is less than half the time.
Me: Ok I think I can do 2 days.
[RAMIT’S NOTE: Classic door-in-the-face technique.]
Boss: Ok good, let’s talk some more about your compensation numbers
Me: [blah blah not listening, huge grin on INSIDE, I can't believe he went for it]
Tactics I used:
- Reviewed scripts of other similar situations, and picked key words to reuse
- Wrote out a loose script in advance
- Decided increasing pay was a non-starter at this point, so went for something else (tele-commuting)
- Decided 2 days would be great, so asked for 3 so I had something to give back
- Decided NOT to use the phrase “on a trial basis” on my wife’s recommendation, but instead keep it in my pocket. this was a good idea since I didn’t need it.
- Made a soft threat to quit to make the alternative seem less severe
- Showed I understand his side, and played to his desire to have happy employees and compensate them
- Practiced! I found a conference room 1 hour before to write my script and said it a few times out loud
- Timeboxing – I didn’t have a lot of time to work on this – total prep was 2 hours (15 mins at home night before, 45 mins on bus reading 4HWW & this post, 1 hour at office writing script & practicing). This made me focus, especially in that final hour
Results, and why it’s good –
– even though it wasn’t dollars, 6 hours of my life back is worth a lot. also gives lots of flexibility to shift hours around. I increased my total compensation. actually it saves me $30 on commute per week also
- while I worked from home 2-3 times per month previously, a regular arrangement is unheard of, and 2 days/wk is absolutely crazy. Can’t believe I didn’t ask earlier.”
A superb job by Alex. See the [RAMIT’S NOTES] to see behind the obvious and to analyze what’s really going on.
Congratulations, Alex. My assistant will be contacting you to send you either $200 of negotiation books or a 15-minute call with me to strategize your next negotiation.
What you’ll notice is that Alex has internalized a negotiation mindset. It’s not just a series of unrelated tactics for him, but part of a holistic mindset of negotiation as a lifestyle.
To get that mindset, let’s go deeper.
http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/#
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